IEP ... and the "real meaning" of the IEP

As a few people know on January 6, 2012 Andy and I attended a meeting at Brecken's school to go over his IEP ... and most importantly to get his "educational diagnosis of Autism (ASD)".  I can't really say that the meeting went well, since I still don't have a copy of his new IEP, BUT he did get his ASD label which entitles him to more services through the school.

Good.  Great.  Ok.  Whatever.

Does anyone really want to know what an "IEP meeting" is?  Well, let me tell you.  It's a heart tugging, fighting the tears back, tell you all about how your son is DIFFERENT from everyone else meeting. I received two reports in my hand.  I'll share some of what they say about Brecken ...

~avoids eye to eye gaze
~tantrums;becomes physically aggressive when he does not get his wants
~appears to no hear others social initiation
~parallel play; does not socially interact
~temper tantrums when asked to do what he does not want to do
~does not accept items when presented to him
~does not follow directions
~does not socially interact/reciprocate
~is unable to interpret non-verbal facial cues
~requires one on one physical management to approximate what is expected
~prefers to play alone
~does not realize how his actions affect others
~does not initiate play with others
~does not pretend play
~observes play but does not join in
~develops predictable routines with toys
~lines up toys in systematic order
~develops attachment to non-essential items
~does not respond to praise
~is unable to take turns
~limited communication skills
~is unable to participate in conversation turn-taking
~says one thing but means another
~ demonstrates unusual tone of voice - screaks for no reason
~does not communicate for purpose of sharing
~does not understand others point of view
~does not ask questions when confused
~uses incorrect personal pronouns
~uses other tools for communication
~does not participate within a group - does not imitate others actions
~demonstrates repetitive patterns of behavior
~does not respond to others communication attempts
~interprets comments literally
~does not question when confused
~is unresponsive to the communication needs of others
~has difficulty communicating personal space preferences
~does not accept change in routine
~needs to be reminded to look at tasks
~stares off into space

This is PAGE ONE of REPORT ONE.  There are 15 more on page 2 and a whole other report full of these.

It sucks.  Hands down this is THE hardest part of any of this.  Being handed a questionnaire and being expected to answer questions pertaining to the "normality" of your child.  And the reward?  A report like this ...